Content Note: Adult language and mention of traumatic injuries

Happy Summer! I’m drinking a frozen s’mores latte while listening to the birds chirping away outside my window. This summer has been brutal—between the unrelenting heat and severe storms—it just feels like we can’t catch a break. And naturally, today is another scorcher. Normally, I’d be chilling outside in my pool, but the water’s too damn hot.

This sweltering heat has drained me, pulling the plug on my creativity while flooding my brain with thick fog. I haven’t written much. I haven’t edited much. Hell, I’ve barely worked on my WIPs. I just can’t focus. So, I’ve been spending a ton of time indoors, reading and watching shows. And since I’ve been consuming a ton of media lately, I figured it was the perfect time to go over some more of my fictional pet peeves—especially with all the nonsensical drama going on in the book and writing communities.

Before I dive in, this is just a reminder that these opinions are my own and are purely subjective.

Fictional Deal-Breakers

Plagiarism. Thou shall not steal from your fellow writers. It’s one thing to be inspired by a story. It’s another thing to copy that story, change some names, erase some words, and flip some sentences around and then try passing it off as your own for profit. Not only is it unethical, but it’s theft.

And if you think you won’t get caught, think again. Readers will catch on, word will spread, and the news will get back to the original author, who then can sue you for copyright infringement. It’s a surefire way to kill your career.

So, if you want to write a book, come up with your own ideas and words. No one wants to read stolen work.

Generative AI. Generative AI is another form of theft, except you have a climate-killing, plagiarism machine doing all the heavy lifting for you. GenAI steals from creatives. The only reason it has anything in its database is because it’s scalped words and art from books, blogs, websites, and more from creatives without compensating them or getting their permission to use their work. It wouldn’t function if it had nothing to copy from.

If you’re a writer who uses any form of GenAI, then that tells me that:

  1. You have no morals and have no problems with stealing.
  2. You’re too lazy to come up with your own ideas and words.
  3. You only care about making a quick buck and couldn’t care less about the quality or craft of storytelling.

There’s no creativity in typing a prompt. It’s not writing. Using generative AI does not make you a fucking writer. If you can’t write your own words without using GenAI or stealing from your fellow writers, then don’t write. This isn’t the career for you. No one wants to read your half-assed stolen AI slop.

No HEA in Romance. Romance requires a central love story + a HEA (Happily Ever After) or HFN (Happy For Now). That’s it. Those are the two hard, non-negotiable rules of the romance genre. If your story doesn’t end with a HEA or HFN, then it’s not romance. If you omit the HEA and label your story as a romance, then congrats, you’ve just scammed readers into buying your book. And no one likes scammers.

Romance readers buy romance books because we know that no matter how tumultuous things get, the couple will make it through. We know that they’ll end up happy together. Forever. We don’t want your tragic endings in our romance novels. If we want something other than the HEA, we’ll read another genre.

Now, I’ve seen some confusion about the differences between the HEA and HFN. As an avid romance reader and writer, I’m gonna break them down.

HEA – Permanent. The couple winds up together and stays together for the rest of their lives.

HFN – Temporary. The couple winds up together at the end, but they’re unsure if they’ll stay together for the long haul. This is usually found in YA, NA, and/or series.

If you don’t respect the genre conventions, then you don’t respect romance readers, and you don’t deserve our money, loyalty or trust.

General Grievances

Purple Prose. Purple prose is a flowery language that is needlessly wordy and ornate. Now, there’s nothing wrong with prose. I love pretty prose, but prose has its place—and it’s not in the middle of an intense fight scene. It’s distracting, confusing, boring, and it kills the pacing. If your characters are fighting for their lives, then skip the ornate language and get to the point. Save the flowery prose for your descriptions, when things aren’t so dire.

Breakneck Pacing. I understand that shorter, faster-paced books are in demand. Time is a precious commodity that many people don’t have much of these days. But that doesn’t mean that you should shorten your book to the point where it reads like a summary. It doesn’t mean that you need to pile on all the action, conflict, and melodrama without pause. Nonstop drama and fighting are exhausting. Slow it down. Give readers time to breathe. We’ll thank you for it.

Starting with a Fight Scene. Some writers love kicking their story off with action. They think an epic fight scene or high-speed chase is a great way to pull in readers, but in reality, it’s a fast way for me to DNF your book before the first chapter ends. I need to know who the main characters are. I need to care about them. Why would I root for someone I don’t even know? Pump the brakes on all the action and let me get to know your characters first.

Slow Burns that Fizzle. There’s nothing wrong with a slow burn—as long as it’s believable. But many times, I’ll see writers drag things out. The couple is always making the same lame excuses as to why they can’t be together. They’re always getting interrupted, or something goes awry whenever they try to share an intimate moment together. Things that should’ve happened—like a first date or kiss—get drawn out for the sake of drama and tension. But when the couple continues dragging their heels for inane reasons, it kills the tension. The chemistry between the two fizzles out and the story becomes repetitive, predictable, and boring.

Medical Blunders

Please note that the list below only applies to human characters in modern settings. These medical oopsies do not apply to any kind of supernatural beings living in fantasy worlds.

Doctors Who Never Work. Your main character is a doctor who works at a hospital, but they’re never there. In fact, they’re always hanging out with their friends. They always have some extra pep in their step and have plenty of energy to go out after a long shift. And when they do finally find their way to the hospital, they’re never seen with patients. Nope. They’re always chatting with their colleagues over coffee and lunch. This is as far from realistic as it gets.

Newsflash: if your character is a doctor—especially a resident—then they’re not gonna be spending every second of their downtime hitting up the town. The same goes for nurses and other healthcare workers.

Working in a hospital is hard. It’s grueling, and it’s mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Most hospitals are short-staffed, pushing their workers to the brink of burnout because they’re overloaded with patients and responsibilities. You need to reflect on some of that in your story. You need to do some research, watch some documentaries, and learn what goes on behind the scenes in a hospital.

Doctors Doing Everything. Sometimes I’ll be reading a book or watching a show, where the doctors are doing everyone’s jobs. In fact, sometimes they’re the only ones at the hospital. They’re transporting patients, triaging patients, taking X-rays, doing MRIs and CTs, doing bloodwork, and more.

Spoiler alert: hospitals aren’t solely and wholly composed of doctors. There are nurses, physician assistants, radiologic technologists, respiratory therapists, speech therapists, pharmacists, medical assistants, medical technologists, dieticians, social workers, occupational therapists, transporters, environmental services, and more.

It takes a village to make a hospital run. Don’t forget to include the other healthcare workers as a part of the healthcare team. And please research your character’s profession and familiarize yourself with their scope of practice.

The Infamous Shoulder Gunshot Wound. I see this injury in books, TV, and movies all the time. The main character gets shot in the shoulder—by a high caliber weapon—drinks some booze, their friend pulls out the bullet, bandages the wound, and the character gets back to fighting the baddies like nothing happened. This is so highly inaccurate that it’s almost comical.

Newsflash: bullet wounds are unpredictable. There is no safe place to get shot at, and that includes the shoulder. The shoulder is composed of bones, joints, muscles, ligaments, tendons, nerves, arteries, veins, and blood vessels.

A gunshot wound to the shoulder can cause severe damage, including paralysis, and even death. As a writer, you need to learn about bullet wounds, anatomy, proper treatments, possible complications, and recovery times—which might include therapy.

Post-Op Miracles. Your character just had major surgery, and they wake up like they’ve just taken a long, refreshing nap. And you know what? They’ve had enough of the hospital and they’re ready to go home. So, they yank their IV out, change clothes, and stroll out of the hospital without a single care. Great dramatic effect, but grossly inaccurate.

If your character just had major surgery, they’re not going to wake up feeling refreshed. They’re gonna be groggy and in pain. They’re gonna have stitches or staples, bandages, a catheter, and probably some drainage tubes. Your character isn’t going to be hopping out of bed and going home anytime soon. They’ll be monitored closely in PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit), then sent up to their room where they can recover.

If your character is going to have major surgery, then you need to do your research. Look up the injuries or illnesses, pre-op care, surgery, complications, post-op care, recovery time, and more.

Just a quick note: many medical dramas that you see on TV aren’t wholly accurate. A lot of things that happen on those shows are done for dramatic effect, so exercise caution if you plan on using them for research. If you’re looking for accuracy, your best bet is to read and research, talk to healthcare workers, and watch documentaries (Code Black is a pretty good one). Also, The Pitt is a pretty accurate medical drama, which is about doctors working in an urban ER.

Update

I’ve switched up the character blogs. Marissa will now be taking Raichel’s spot, and her blog has been pushed back to the first weekend of August. Nick and Karina’s blog has also been pushed back a week, and will now be posted on Friday, September 5th. You can find the updated blog schedule on the Announcements page.

I’m still working on character mood boards, and plan on adding another life bite before summer ends. So, be on the lookout for those. I’ll have Marissa’s playlist posted on Spotify by the end of the week, and her inspiration board will be up on Pinterest by the end of next week.

That’s all I have for you today. As always, stay safe and stay healthy. Until next time.

Cheers,

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