CW: Graphic Language & Mentions of Violence
Name: Nick & Kari
Day/Time: Friday, 8:03 p.m.
Current state of mind: Annoyed (Nick) & Tired (Kari)
What are you wearing? Jeans & a black sweater (Nick); jeans, navy-blue tank top, & a light gray cardigan (Kari)
What are you listening to? Love in Slow Motion by Ed Sheeran
What are you drinking? Bourbon (Nick) & mulled wine (Kari)
Where are you? Chillin by the fireplace in the sunroom
What’s up? Karina and I are back, covering for Amelia’s lazy ass once again.
That’s right. We’re taking a much-needed and much-deserved break from holiday decorating to answer a few questions.
Inane questions that no one gives a flying fuck about.
They’re not all inane. And besides, I’d much rather be locked in here with you, answering random questions than dealing with all the holiday madness out there. We’ve got booze, snacks, music, and loads of privacy. I call that a win.
You know, I wouldn’t sit through this bullshit for anyone else.
Aren’t I special?
You are. Now, let’s get this shit over with so we can get the fuck out of here and I can show you exactly how special you are. 😉
It’s a date. 😘
1.What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done today?
Nick: Put out a kitchen fire.
Karina: The kitchen caught fire? When?
Nick: Earlier while you were in the shower. Riss tried baking muffins. And failed.
Karina: Why was she baking? I thought she hated cooking.
Nick: She does, but she wanted to do something nice for everyone, aka Luke. 🙄
Karina: Well… It’s the thought that counts, right?
Nick: Sure, if your goal is to poison the dude you’re crushing on.
Karina: 😬😅 Well, my day wasn’t as exciting as yours, but I did get into a standoff with my cat.
Nick: I’m gonna need some details here, sweetheart.
Karina: Misia climbed into the Yule tree and refused to come out. If I hadn’t bribed her with treats, she still would’ve been hanging out in there.
Nick: *chuckles* I believe it. At least you know how to get her down next time.
Karina: I don’t even want to think about next time.
2. What is the most absurd rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself this past year?
Karina: They’re all pretty absurd, if you ask me.
Nick: Yup. Got plenty of contenders.
Karina: I think I’ve died twice this past year.
Nick: You beat me. I only kicked it once.
Karina: Then there were the multiple pregnancies and secret births.
Nick: And our secret family.
Karina: Oh yeah. Our five kids that we’re magically hiding away from the world. You’d think I’d remember birthing them all, but what the fuck do I know?
Nick: Apparently you pop out kids faster than toast out of a toaster.
Karina: That explains a lot. And let’s not forget about Aria and Lexi being part of our miraculous, mystical horde of mini-mes.
Nick: Our horde that we’ve covertly created so we can take over the world.
Karina: Kurwa. I forgot all about our plans for global domination.
Nick: Gotta set a reminder in our calendars.
Karina: Good thinking.
3. Is there anyone you pretend to like, but secretly hate?
Nick: Nope. I don’t fake shit. If I don’t like you, you know it.
Karina: You seem to have the opposite problem. I think most people believe you secretly hate them.
Nick: They’re not entirely wrong.
Nick: How about you? Have anyone on your secret shit list whose ass I need to kick?
Karina: Not anymore, but Courtni’s ex used to top that list for the longest time.
Nick: Can’t say I’m surprised given her track record.
Karina: Yeah. I mean, David wasn’t as volatile as the most recent jebaniec—who shall not be named—but he comes in at a close second.
Nick: She sure knows how to pick them.
Karina: Courtni’s like a magnet for violent, narcissistic douche weasels.
Nick: Can’t argue with that fact.
Karina: I don’t think anyone can.
4. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
Karina: Hmm… I’m going to go with the Mama’s Boy.
Nick: Not the Mama’s Boy.
Karina: Oh, it’s worse than you think. Long story short, I went out to eat with this guy who was looking to wife it up with someone who was exactly like his mom. The second we were seated at the table, he whipped out his phone and started interviewing me like I was applying for a job.
Nick: Fucking hell.
Karina: That’s not even the worst part. In order for me to “qualify” for a second date, I needed to get his mom’s approval. Over dessert. That same fucking night.
Nick: FFS. And here I thought my Stage Five Clinger was bad.
Karina: Let me guess, she had your entire future planned.
Nick: Yup, down to the number of kids we were gonna have. I didn’t even stay for drinks, just erased myself from her memories and bailed the fuck out.
Karina: I don’t blame you. If I knew how to manipulate memories back in the day, I would’ve done the same.
5. Have you burned any bridges? If so, do you have any regrets?
Nick: Yup, and I don’t regret a single fucking one. If I cut you off, it’s for a damn good reason.
Karina: Yeah. It sucks losing connections, but when people treat you like absolute shit, they don’t leave you with much of a choice.
Nick: You gotta do what’s best for you. If that means torching a few bridges along the way, so be it.
Karina: I swear it’s like some people practically hand you the matches, like they’re testing you or something.
Nick: Yup, then the stupid motherfuckers act surprised when you go nuclear on their asses.
6. What is your love language?
Karina: Physical touch and quality time are the two big ones for me.
Nick: Same, followed closely by acts of service. But, if I’m gonna be honest, I like combining all three. 😉
Karina: They do go together, don’t they?
Nick: Mm-hmm. We can test our theory out later.
Karina: *smiles* Don’t tease me with promises of a good time.
Nick: Oh, there will be plenty of teasing. I can promise you that. 😉
Karina: Can’t wait.😘
7. What is your favorite holiday movie?
Nick: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
Karina: I love that movie. We should watch it later.
Nick: Whatever you want.
Karina: Maybe we could order carry-out?
Nick: We could.
Karina: Pizza? Stuffed mushrooms? Chocolate lava cake for dessert?
Nick: Name it and it’s yours.
Karina: Mulled wine?
Nick: Got plenty of it.
Karina: You spoil me.
Nick: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Karina: One of these days, I’m going to return the favor.
Nick: *smiles* You already do.
8. What is one of your favorite holiday comfort foods?
Karina: I have a few: potato pierogi, paszteciki z pieczarkami, szarlotka, and chocolate espresso cupcakes.
Nick: Your mushroom pasties are killer.
Karina: They’re a pain in the ass to make, but worth all the time, sweat, and swearing that I put into those little suckers.
Nick: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss that much.
Karina: *sighs* I hate making the dough. I hate waiting for it to rise and I hate fucking rolling it and cutting it. It’s the bane of my existence.
Nick: You could always cheat and buy a puff pastry.
Karina: I could. I’d probably be disowned, but it would be worth it… Maybe.
Nick: *chuckles* For me, it’s a toss-up between moussaka, arancini, and spanakopita dip.
Karina: They’re all so good, especially the dip. I always stuff myself stupid with it and then have no room for dinner.
Nick: It is addicting.
9. What is your favorite winter holiday tradition?
Nick: The Solstice bonfire.
Karina: Same. The ritual we all do in the beginning is my favorite part, but honestly, I just love the entire tradition. It’s nice to sit around the fire and laugh and talk and share our favorite memories while freezing our asses off in the snow.
Nick: You’ve got me to keep you warm. 😉
Karina: *smiles* I do. You’re like my very own personal heater.
Nick: I’m good at my job.
Karina: You are. 😘
10. What is your favorite winter vacation destination?
Karina: Zakopane. I know it’s touristy, but our villa is located far enough away where we don’t have to deal with all the chaos and commotion.
Nick: We’ve got plenty of privacy.
Karina: We do. Not to mention that the views are positively breathtaking. I love curling up by the fire with you and just watching the snow fall over the mountains.
Nick: You can’t beat it.
Karina: Not at all.
11. What was the last gift you gave?
Nick: A swift death.
Karina: 😂 I don’t think that’s what they meant.
Nick: My mercy is a rare gift.
Karina: I can’t argue with that.
Nick: No one can. 😉
Karina: 😄 My answer is nowhere near as exciting as yours. I gave Daniel a bottle of single malt scotch for his birthday. *glances over at Nick* Thanks for your help, BTW. I’m not exactly knowledgeable in the high-end scotch department.
Nick: You’re welcome.
12. What hobbies or activities (other than the obvious) do you like to do as a couple?
Karina: 😂 I love how they say, “other than the obvious.”
Nick: They know us well.
Karina: You think? 😅
Nick: I know. “Other than the obvious,” I’m gonna say working out and cooking.
Karina: I love when we cook together. There’s something about watching you chop veggies with a dish towel slung over your shoulder that just makes my heart race.
Nick: *cocks his brow* Really?
Nick: I learn something new every day.
Karina: Told you we’d have fun. 😘
13. What is one item of clothing that you like seeing your significant other wear?
Nick: My shirts, especially when she wears them with leggings or those tight little boy shorts underneath. That and heels. I’m a sucker for high heels—doesn’t matter whether she pairs them with a dress or jeans—she looks sexy as fuck in them.
Karina: 😊 I guess it’s a good thing I like stealing your shirts.
Nick: Steal all the shirts you want. What’s mine is yours.
Karina: Nick looks phenomenal in everything, but I love it when he wears one of his black leather jackets, especially when he pairs them with matching gloves and boots… He just looks so sinfully hot. I melt into a puddle each time. *blushes*
Nick: Noted. 😉
Karina: *smiles, averting her gaze as her face grows even hotter*
14. Name something unconventional about your significant other that turns you on.
Karina: Lots of things: wearing a watch, rolling up his shirt sleeves, rubbing his jaw when he’s deep in thought, and watching him style his hair and get ready for the day.
Nick: You’ve got quite the list.
Karina: I do, but those aren’t even my biggest turn-ons. It’s your confidence and intelligence and steel determination. It’s the way you dote on Aria, acting like a father figure and taking care of her like she’s your own. It’s how you care for Max, playing with him and cuddling him. But most of all, it’s when you take the time to teach me something new. I swear you have the patience of a saint.
Nick: *smiles* I’ve also got a few things on my list: when she stretches like a cat after waking up, when she plays with her hair—or when she throws it up into one of her messy ponytails. And I love watching her dance around while she gets ready to go out. It’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Karina: *a rosy blush dusts her cheeks*
Nick: *looks at her* I love how nurturing you are. I love how you look after Max and Aria like they are your own. But the real kicker is your resilience. You are so much tougher than you give yourself credit for. Most people would’ve crumbled if they even endured a fraction of what you have.
Karina: *shakes her head, averting her gaze* No.
Nick: *tips her chin up* Yes. You might fall, but you bounce back stronger every fucking time. You’re a force to be reckoned with. Own it, sweetheart.
Karina: *smiles softly* Thank you.
Nick: It’s nothing to thank me for.
15. What was the last thing that your significant other taught you?
Nick: How to make mushroom-stuffed krokiety.
Karina: That was such a fun night. I love cooking with you.
Nick: It was. I’m thinking we need a repeat performance. You got any other recipes you want to test out?
Karina: I have an entire book full, but I’ve never even attempted to make half of them.
Nick: Then we’ll tackle them together.
Karina: *smiles* Sounds like a plan. The last thing Nick taught me was how to change a tire—with and without using my magic.
Nick: It’s a handy skill to have.
Karina: I never had anyone around to teach me, so thanks for that.
Nick: Anytime, sweetheart.
16. Name one bad habit you’d like to break.
Karina: Procrastinating. I’m always putting things off until the last minute, all because I dread dealing with them. And then I stress myself out to the brink of a mental meltdown.
Nick: I think it’s because you take on too much at once. You gotta get better at saying no.
Karina: I know, I just hate disappointing people.
Nick: They’ll understand. And if they don’t, fuck ‘em. They don’t deserve your time or generosity.
Karina: That’s sound advice.
Nick: I know. 😉
Karina: What about you?
Nick: Doing these takeovers.
17. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Nick: If you think for one fucking second that I feel guilty about indulging in shit that I enjoy, then you’re off your fucking rocker. Pass.
Karina: *bites back a laugh* Well, what’s something you like indulging in that you don’t feel guilty about?
Karina: *smiles, a crimson blush sweeping over her cheeks*
Nick: What about you? *he nuzzles her neck, his lips ghosting over her skin*
Karina: *she relaxes against him, basking in his warmth* Um… What?
Nick: Any guilty pleasures, other than me? 😉
Karina: Oh. Right… *clears her throat* Well, when you’re not around, I like watching Gilmore Girls while drinking wine, and eating junk food.
Nick: *chuckles* Can’t say I’m surprised.
Karina: Fuck. I’m getting to the stage where I’m becoming predictable and boring.
Nick: You are far from boring, sweetheart.
18. Do you think you’ve turned out the way your parents expected?
Karina: I doubt it. But then I can only speak for my mom. I don’t know my dad all that well, so you’d have to ask him.
Nick: Nope. And I’m fucking proud of it.
Karina: You should be. You’re nothing like your parents—and I do mean nothing.
Nick: I strived to be everything that those two depraved, self-absorbed asshats never were and never could be.
Karina: You definitely succeeded.
19. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Nick: Are we talking literally or figuratively?
Karina: Let me guess, you’ve done both. 😅
Nick: Yup. Well, technically I crushed the fucker’s heart after I ripped it out of his chest.
Nick: Nope. Riss’s ex. He put his hands on her, so I returned the favor. Tenfold.
Karina: I hope he suffered.
Nick: He did. And he still is.
Karina: Good. I don’t think I’ve broken any hearts—at least, not in the literal sense. Have I?
Nick: No. Not unless you count the time you induced cardiac arrest.
Karina: 😯 What? When?
Nick: 1692. You saved a witch from being executed.
Karina: I don’t remember that. I swear my memories are like Swiss cheese with more holes than actual cheese.
Nick: We’ll get them back.
Karina: I hope so.
Nick: *squeezes her hand* I know so.
20. Do you prefer hot weather or cold weather?
Karina: Cold. It’s easier to warm up than cool off. Plus, I love cuddling with Nick by the fire while watching the snowfall.
Nick: Gotta agree. And we’ve got plenty of creative ways to keep each other warm. 😉
Karina: We do. Warming up is the best part. 😘
Nick: Damn right it is.
21. Are there any events that you’re looking forward to before the year ends?
Nick: Other than Solstice and Yule? No.
Karina: The Holiday Market. I know it gets shit-packed, but I love tasting all the food and the drinks, and listening to the live bands. It’s so refreshing to see everyone happy and carefree for a change.
Nick: I hate the fucking crowds, but I’ve gotta admit, it is a good time.
Karina: *flashes him a megawatt smile* So, does that mean we’re going next weekend?
Nick: Yeah. We’ll go.
Karina: *kisses his cheek*
Bonus: If you had to make a New Year’s resolution, what would it be?
Karina: Set better boundaries and learn to say “no” more often.
Nick: *smiles* That’s my girl. Other than never doing another takeover again, I’m gonna try my damndest to spend more time with Kari and Aria.
Karina: I love the sound of that. 😘
Karina: I think that’s a wrap.
Nick: Thank fuck.
Nick and I hope you had as much fun as we did. We want to wish you a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season and a Happy New Year.
Stay safe out there.
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