Day/Time: Friday 3:03 AM
Current state of mind: Bored and a little drunk
What are you wearing? Black yoga pants and a black t-shirt that says, “Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound”
What are you listening to? Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage
What are you drinking? Bourbon out of the bottle
Where are you? On the loveseat in my bedroom
I’m Raichel. I’m a witch and I’ve got a rep as a vindictive bitch and for good reasons. If you know me, then you know the reasons. If not, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. A few things to know about me: I hate people, especially humans; I love booze, especially bourbon; I love music, especially old school rock; and I love a good fight, especially when I’m involved and kicking ass. What can I say? I enjoy making people bleed, especially the ones that piss me off.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me tell you about my night. It started out all blah-blah boring but ended on a good note—at least in my opinion. And let’s be honest, my opinion is the only one that matters. Don’t like it? Don’t care. Move along and find someone else to stalk.
Like I was saying, my night started out dull. I’d just finished working on a protection charm for one of my regular clients and was bored out of my mind. There was shit on TV and I was in no mood to stay at home and deal with my psychotic brother. So I called my two besties, Irina and Mary, and we decided to hit up our friend Casey’s bar. He always hooks us up, and sometimes he and I hook up—when we’re in the mood. But it’s nothing serious, just two adults blowing off some steam and having a little fun amidst all the chaos and drama.
Anyway, we got to Casey’s, and it happened to be college night or as I like to call it, Amateur Hour. The place was packed. But it’s not like I was about to complain. Idiot frat boys who can’t hold their liquor and keep their hands to themselves make the perfect punching bags. Not to mention, Casey was working the bar and looking delectable in designer dark jeans and a black muscle t-shirt. My night was looking up.
So, we hit the bar and naturally, Casey hooked us up with a couple of bottles of bourbon and some Kamikaze shots to start. He’s a talented mixologist, amongst other things, if you catch my drift. Now, I know it seems like a lot of booze for you humans, but it’s not, at least not for us witches. So, save the judgy comments for someone else.
Anyway, Casey was busy helping behind the bar, so we grabbed a table, but not before commandeering the jukebox. None of that pop bubblegum bullshit for us. I cast a little veiling spell, ensuring no one would fuck with it. Those stupid humans had no idea where the music was coming from. It was priceless and totally worth it. Though, I managed to piss off a few witches, but like I gave a damn. None of them were dumb enough to confront me, anyway. Most people aren’t. My rep as a vengeful bitch comes with some serious perks.
So, we had our music, we had our booze, and we had our table with killer ocean views. The night could only get better, and it did. Casey made sure we never ran dry and after our third bottle of bourbon, we decided it was time to dance. Casey’s doesn’t have a dance floor, but we didn’t give a flying fuck, we made our own. Casey even joined us—well, me—and let me tell you, that guy knows how to move. Not that it’s a shocker to anyone who knows him as intimately as I do.
Things started getting hot and heavy between us on the makeshift dance floor. I thought for sure we were going to be taking advantage of Casey’s private office, but he got called away because some jackass kept harassing one of his waitresses. I’ve gotta admit, I was disappointed and pissed. I wanted to kill that little frat boy douche for interrupting my fun. And I should have—well, maybe death’s a bit extreme, but he definitely deserved to have some of his extremities broken. But Casey took care of him, and it was so hot to watch. I love a man who can handle himself.
Casey rejoined us shortly after, but then the bar staff was overwhelmed and needed help. So that fire ended up fizzling out. But Casey promised me a raincheck at the end of the night, and I was definitely looking forward to collecting. I’m not gonna lie, I couldn’t wait till closing time. But I would have to, and we still had a couple of more hours to go. So, we got back to dancing and drinking. We were having a blast, and I was pleasantly intoxicated by that point. That’s when all hell broke loose.
Those frat boy douche bags I mentioned earlier, decided it was fight night. And I was all about it, especially after one of them made me spill my drink all over myself. So, I slammed his head against the wall and made him go night-night. Apparently, that pissed his girlfriend or whoever the fuck off, because that bitch came flying at me like some drunken linebacker. I stepped to the side and she bounced herself off the wall. Though, little good that did. Evidently, the booze gave her some bravado. So, I remedied that by busting her nose and breaking her arm. She started screaming and cussing, which just annoyed me, so I bounced her head off a table and shut her up.
I turned around and it was complete chaos. Even Irina and Mary joined in on fight night. And Mary’s not a fighter. She’s wild and fun, but she’s not one for throwing down. So, when I saw her using some guy’s head as a soccer ball, I knew shit was serious. Naturally, I joined in on the action and it felt good to kick some ass, to release all that anger and aggression.
We cleaned house with help from Casey and his staff. The humans left all battered and bruised. They won’t remember a thing thanks to all the booze combined with a little witchy coercion. They’ll also know better than to come back. Magic’s a handy little thing to have around these parts.
Anyway, we offered to help Casey with the cleanup, but he refused. And to be honest, he’s plenty powerful, so it’s nothing that a restoration spell won’t fix. He still asked about that raincheck and if you know me, then you know I was more than willing to collect. He should be here any minute, so I’m gonna wrap this up.
If you have a comment, leave one. Maybe I’ll get back to you. Maybe I won’t. It all depends on my mood, and it all depends on your comment.
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